Okay, so today I hopped on the road in my fancy car to head down to San Francisco, and I’m happy to report that it went well!! A pleasant drive all around, and not even a single exploded tire this time.
More importantly, however, I drove past the exact accursed spot where the Corn got me before. All of it was yellow and bent, dead and being tilled back into the earth. No more corn fields this year.
Also, as I kept driving past the next field over, I was greeting with this lovely sight:
Billows of yellowed smoke rising from something on fire. (It was controlled, an on-purpose fire, so it’s all chill). I am choosing to believe they are burning the remains of the cursed corn, purifying the grounds so that next year the vegetable cannot claim any more victims.
Also, all the corn is dead and on fire, which clearly makes ME the victor. I am Zom the Persistent, Changer of Rogue Tires, Writer of Ridiculous Tumblr Posts, Survivor of the Corn Curse, the first of my name.
All bow before my mighty words.